I was jobless at work one day and had ample times ample time at hand. The only problem was I couldn't think of doing anything worthwhile with that time. It occurred to me that I might as well find something to write about. And there went the search for some interesting stuff in Google. As one thing leads to another, for me, one link lead to another and I found myself perching on a page which talked about the blogging techniques and how you I could make my blog more effective and what I could write about and stuff such.
I didn't care to read much of it but one thing really caught my eye and sent jitters through my spine, straight from my crotch, to my brain (Well, off late they had seemed to switch their positions). I never knew that this would be so dreadful and mean. It was a question. These words poked me straight in the eye: "What are you deeply passionate about?". For a moment I sat still, wondering how to answer this question. I could say, "I do a lot of things buddy. I work, I play, I have fun, I have varied interests". But then reflecting a bit deeper on that question, I realized that no matter what I did, how I did, or the variety of things I try to do, nothing really sticks on for long, nothing really keeps me captivated. The interest keeps changing constantly and rapidly. I couldn't possibly continue to do one thing, for the rest of my life.
I seem to easily loose interest as time passes by. The other day I was having a chat with one of my friends and I kind of vaguely mentioned this. But a friend indeed she was, highlighted that I was diverse in a way. Coming to think of it, it gave me a satisfaction, false it was though.
Other than waking up every morning just because I have to pee and dump, I sure wouldn't mind a thing to do which will make me get out of the bed every day, which will drive me all day. Many a times I get lost with the thought of loving what I do or doing what I love. Neither of which is actually happening.
But on the other hand, with some reading on the net, I have also come to realize that 90 percent of the people fall in the same category as I. Among the rest 10 percent, for some, life is about following their passions, and for some other, life is about discovering new passions. And for me, I guess, its just a series of obsessions that needs to be managed. I get obsessed with things faster, but the obsession just doesn't stay long enough to be christened passion.
Maybe, the successes that we see around have occurred because someone out there has passion. I do not want to disagree to that even one bit. But then, as for me, I believe that the journey of self discovery has not ended yet. In due course, I will figure this shit out and possibly untangle myself from these strings of unfinished mess and jumble of could-have-been’s. I hope I will find my passion and jingle all the way!
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